Why only last month I called out to the
field of honour fighting for
the life of my
youngest son Calum.

He had been captured by pirates who had the boy locked up in a dungeon at Fort Sewell.

Captain Snitch
laughed at my demands and the pirate (who goes by the name of 'Worms') spat in my face.
Here is the picture seconds before the scurvy dog let loose his cannon of
phlegm to the Captain's great delight!!

Captain Snitch paraded into the camp and brought their
champion to fight me with pistol and short sword.


I
fought bravely until my antagonist produced a pistol. Those that live by
the sword are often shot by those that don't! I ran like a coward, leaving
my pour boy behind to be sold for meat!
As
compensation, I received a leg and two pounds of baby back ribs. Hey,
I can always make more children!
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