Back to the Zoo

Eventually you must return to the regular life - you must come down from your Zen mountain peak and return to the land of the living, but you will greet the ulceric crazy business world with a new understanding, a different vision... maybe not! But you will end your flight with some more entertainment from the Stress Monkeys! 

Welcome back to the Zoo! Watch the monkeys released out of their cage! As soon as that little  seatbelt light goes out they are up like an amateur boxer at the bell, literally leaping up as the plane is still taxiing in, fighting to get their bags from the overhead. 

Watch it with new eyes and it is difficult to stop laughing! "Three blind mice. See how they run. Where do they think they are going?!" Where is the fire? Are we ready to take off our shoes and jump down the slide with our arms folded? What is the big rush here! You have just been sitting still for up to 4 hours and now you can't bear another 20 seconds! These are the people who didn't get up once for a stretch and must have the bladder of a camel, yet they are now paranoid that they will get swept along in the rush for the exit. 

Its hilarious! Follow them, pulling their huge bags, rushing to beat the rest of the plane to the last monorail out of her! Watch them jostle to get to the belt quicker than the baggage handlers can open the cargo doors!

Then the monkeys are perturbed – their bags are not there waiting for them? The can’t see their flight number on the computer, none of the bags made it - they have all been lost.  They might never see that natty raincoat again!

Would you all just relax already! The bags are just getting off the plane! Wait and count your blessings that you are not out their in the snow/head throwing oversized bags all day long!

'Flight 358 is on belt 18' might as well say 'sale at Filenes! - three are killed in the rush! Watch them all crowding around the belt so no-one can maneuver!

Look at them jostle for position and stare at that rubber flap covering the hole in the wall where the luggage might or might not come out! They look hungry -  it might as well be spitting out peanuts! They take a gamble as to which way the belt is going. 

Just stand back and observe. Stretch. Walk around.(Just say no to blood clots!) Spend that time using the bathroom, locating the taxi rank, clear messages, or just relax and realise how crazy we can all be when we are not paying attention!

Well don't tag your bag so that YOU will remember it - what you are actually doing is labeling it so that some Stress Monkey doesn’t take off with it, because as soon as a black hard shell comes out of that door the game is on! Watch how no-one moves back to give anyone any space as little old men swing huge bags around trying to hit as many shins!

But can you blame them? Well, everyone knows what happens if you don’t manage to grab your bag first time around! It gets incinerated! Seriously - you get one shot to grab your bag and if you don't it goes through that flap and falls into an incinerator and you get no compensation 'I'm sorry sir, you did have a chance to claim it.' Its true! How else would you explain the fully grown man pushing people out of the way screaming 'WAIT!! That's my bag! Stop the belt!' as it nearly disappears towards the burner.

Get a grip! So what if you miss your bag? It goes around the belt again! You know, every now and again I let my bag ride round the belt twice as a silly reminder that I am in control!

'Yeah, that's my bag alright. No its OK. I'll get it the second time around!' They  look at you as if you are mad! Smile – 'when you are laughing at a fool make sure he isn't doing the same!'

Next: Adult Games!

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