Adult Games

There are games that adults can play at the airport! Yes, you can have fun in the lounge by simply noticing and commenting on things that you see around you!

I was in the terminal just last week when I stopped to watch some construction workers who were standing around one guy who was up a ladder. Eventually one of them asked  ‘Can we help you?’
‘No! I’m just trying to work out how many of you it would take to change a light bulb!’ He laughed! I laughed! We brightened up each others day!

You can have a lot of fun with announcements!  My favourite was when I heard over the loudspeakers ‘Attention Mr. Alan Castro …’ and I shouted out ‘we’ve found your balls!!’

The few people around me who heard it laughed, and I wish I had said it louder, or grabbed the mike and gone into a Seinfeldesc monologue on air travel!

I once heard ‘Attention would the owner of a white Prism please pick up a courtesy phone.Your have left your lights on.’ I shouted out  ‘And the lights on your prism are refracting!’ Ach, you had to be there!

Just so you know that it might be a British thing – there were two guys who phones in asking for strange names and then recorded the announcement. Listen to http://www.geocities.com/missus_gumby/airport.htm 

Oh what fun you can have in the airport restaurant! I think wait-staff are stressed cos they deal with the Stress monkeys all day! They are so ready for some light hearted humour!

If you are like me and eat out at many restaurants – tickle yourself when the bill comes in – ‘waiter, would you mind bringing me a smaller bill please!’ In this game, you get one point if you make them laugh – two if you can get soda out of their nose!

Every now and again you will get the chance to look annoyed and shout out ‘Waiter,  I can’t possibly pay this bill’ or ‘You can’t seriously expect me to pay this do you?’ Now wait for the waiter to look worried and then smile with a softer kind voice ‘you see I don’t have a pen!’

I only saw this once – Black Beards Castle on some Caribbean island (oh the joy of it!)  ‘Waiter, which part of Chef is the 'whim'’

… and if you ever hear that annoying person on the cell phone in a restaurant repeating ‘Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Shout out ‘No but we all can!’ It usually does the trick and if you don’t turn around they don’t know who said it!

And as you leave the restaurant, you will be asked if you need validation? I always say ‘no thanks I only parked my arse’! I know, I need help!

Have you been in one of those swanky hotels that require a jacket at the bar? I was in Texas in the middle of nowhere and I wanted to just relax that night with a drink in the bar. I was told I had to wear a jacket. I snuck in the side and tried to order a drink, but this stickler of a door man came over and asked me to leave!

‘Listen I am staying in the hotel. I am just sitting quietly in the corner for a quick glass of whisky and a read of my book. I have a jacket upstairs but don’t really want to wear it!’ That didn’t work, and so I went upstairs and came down in full kilt, with all medals etc.

My wife and kids had accompanied me to a job and were asleep in the hotel room by the time I got back. I called my wife and asked her if she could order me some food from room service. She didn’t want me to wake up the kids and said she would just leave it outside the door before she went to bed! On my arrival, there was the tray and I put down my bagpipes and started to eat!

Half way through I looked up and a group of Japanese tourists were staring at me down a corridor that was littered with trays. There was a hungry Scotsman, crouched over a tray of leftovers as he just worked his way down a corridor!

‘No, this is my room’ I tried to explain through a mouthful of cold fries! One of them took a picture and they moved on in stunned silence, probably ticking Scotland off their next European trip!

Every time I get stressed I think of this and laugh. Its another way to melt the stress of travel away!

Here is some fun I would like to have in the airport terminal! I am going to sit on a newspaper and then when someone asks me if I am reading that – I will stand up, turn a page, sit back down again and say ‘Yes actually I am!’

I will never muck about with security, but when they say ‘did anyone you don’t know give you something’ I would love to point out that people I know don’t give me anything!

Who is the comedian who said ‘What is it about the hotel key? It is the size and shape of a credit card. I got back to the room late and used my credit card by mistake! A month later I was billed for a whole door!’

©2000-2005 JB