Good evening listeners, I'm Terry Grosser and tonight's topic on Fresh Air is Scotland - a land with very little of it! Gregor McEwan is here to tell us about the 'Fumaceous Arts'.

Thanks Michael. I am proud to say that the F. Art movement has its roots in Scotland. You only have to look at the kilt - an excellent device to shift the focus and waft it down past the knees. 

I myself have concentrated in the 'natural arts' for the past 20 years, and am actually a professor in GAS - The Gacious Art School. Your audience might have caught a whiff of some my earlier works that are still permeating the galleries of Europe, and my piece de resistance is still hangin' in the Louvre!! 

However I am always performing,  leaving something behind for the world to ponder. For instance, I was on the train this morning – standing room only, and on the spot I created a little piece to take everyone's  mind off their troubles. Just a mild distraction – nothing that I had to stretch for!

Michael - Did it work?

It seemed to, aye, by the reaction I got! I kept it completely anonymous of course. I mean it would have been easy to claim all the praise, but I was actually trying something new, a little performance piece I have been working on and I wanted to gage the audience's reaction. 

Michael - What a privilege to have had a good whiff of that! But there are many talented artists already in the public performance field! 

Oh aye, but they are a little too keen for the mass appeal – stadiums, planes, fancy restaurants. I’m sorry but it is just too easy to become a crowd pleaser leaving little behind to stand the test of time! None of the finesse of yesteryear. 

A true Master of F.Arts will chose their spot carefully, do a little research, and then go back to the drawing board and create just the special something that really turn heads. There may well be a little trumpet fanfare, and a flag waving, but the real beauty is what's left behind after the smoke has risen!! 

Michael - maybe you could educate our viewers  in the Old Masters.

Next - Old Masters

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