'Summer in Scotland is just Three Weeks of Bad Sledding!'

 Lets be honest – Scotland has beautiful landscape, brilliant people, but the weather sucks! That’s why we are over in America trying to date your sisters for a green-card!

Its the wettest place in Europe! No need for a carwash here - just leave it outside with the windows up! Take last week for example - it rained twice – once for 2 days the other for 3! And the weekend was so foggy, you couldn’t see what the weather was like! 

I missed spring this year -  I was in the bathroom! 'If you can’t see the hills it means its raining, and if you can see the hills it means that it is going to rain!' 

Nae jest, clouds have been known to travel thousands of miles against prevailing winds to rain wild cats and sheep dogs on Scotland! That's why we don't go to Hell - we are too wet to burn! We certainly don’t tan well - when we go red in the face, that is God telling us to get back into the pub!  I don't know why 'the Big Man' didn't give us gills! 

So we are a land that needs no car wash, but then the test of a country is if it looks good in the rain and Scotland is the most beautiful of all! But ... if you want to see a deep cleavage ...  you have to be content with the butcher!! 

Next - Scotland - the Land of No Cleavage!

©2000-2005 JB